Sunday, June 28, 2015

Being "Pro-Creation" in Conversation

Sex, children, and marriage are not infrequent conversation topics among our diverse group of friends, and those are sometimes tricky conversations for us. Most of our friends have different views on these topics and it can be tricky to explain what we believe - and tricky to even feel included in many of the conversations. In the past few months we've been trying to get more comfortable living our faith publicly and one way we're doing this is by being more open about how we want children sooner rather than later. We've been lucky enough to get some great advice from more experienced married couples using NFP -

  • If you're excited, even if you aren't trying now, talk about how much you look forwards to having children.
  • Consider your vocabulary - there are some terms that are just biased: "unplanned" pregnancy is often assumed to be "unwanted" and it can be useful to clarify that while you aren't planning to get pregnant, you are open to it if it happens.
  • Sometimes birth control comes up - no need to share NFP if it's too awkward, but don't feel shy if it fits the conversation. Many women first learn about NFP when they become aware of the side effects of birth control.
  • Tone is important! Talking about NFP and children cheerfully goes a long way.
  • Talk about yourself! Sometimes when we talk about NFP or marriage in a more theoretical way, it comes across as preachy or even as an accusation. Our friends find it easier to hear us when we're talking about ourselves.
We've found these tips to be helpful. It's interesting to see the reactions we've gotten. For the most part the conversations have been very positive. NaturalGuy and I get to feel more comfortable in our friendships and perhaps it will help us find friends with similar views. A final benefit, every time we speak up we make it a little more comfortable for couples with similar views!

No comments:

Post a Comment